Q:That raven skull necklace sounds beautiful. Could you post a photo of it?
Q:Hey, just wanted to say, I caught wind of that comic that you said you were interviewed for. It was actually pretty enlightening. I've been looking at getting into male stripping, (Half to pay the bills while at University, half to just entertain men and women alike, whatever their preference is.) Just wanted to say, you got yourself a follow, and ask if you interact with male strippers at your work. (Just casually, like someone would in any other workplace.)
I don’t interact with male strippers nor have I been to a male strip club, so it’s really something I know little-to-nothing about. All I know is that you have to be physically really fit. The body standards for male strippers is stricter than for women.
Q:I don't know if this is in your FAQ (because I'm on mobile), what other jobs have you had other than stripper?
It’s not in the FAQ. I mostly worked in food service, like serving in restaurants, coffee shop barista, etc. I babysat for a long time too, and worked retail for about a month.
Q:i prob sound like a bitch and if you dont want to awnser this please dont but how often do they clean the poles in a strip club? im sorry i have just always wondered this
At my club, every 7-12 minutes.
Idk why civilians are so obsessed with pole cleanliness. Like there are plenty of other things that are more likely to be “germy” in and out of the club that I never hear people wonder about.
Like why aren’t we worried about something the customers are constantly touching, like tip rails or the seats? Especially since they seem way less likely to be concerned with hygiene.
I’ve never heard anyone ask how often they clean the door handles to classrooms on campus, and like wow can you imagine what they come in contact with?
But nope it’s always the pole, which really probably comes in contact with less people than most anything else in the club (with the exception of maybe manager’s offices/DJ booths/behind the bar).
Well most people don’t habitually grind their vaginas up against handrails. No hate against strippers, just saying.
Um, we generally don’t habitually grind our vaginas up against the pole either, dude. Like where are you getting your information?
Tits and Sass: More Than Silence: Tjhisha Ball, Angelia Mangum, and the Erasure of Black Sex Workers
peechingtonmariejust talks about how the coverage on #TjishaAndAngelia ignores that both misogynoir AND whorephobia no doubt played a part in the violence against them, and calls on the mainstream media to stop erasing Black sex workers.
Q:With the childhood abuse thing, how did you overcome it? Because it seems impossible.
For me, there is no “overcoming” childhood trauma in the sense that it no longer effects me in any way. It will always have some level of effect on me.
At one point I was exploring the concept of grief (a friend/mentor had died unexpectedly) and came to the realization that grief is not something you move through and past, but something that moves through you. I had always imagined it as a forest that you entered, walk through for a while, and eventually exited. But that was inaccurate. It is more like the wind. Sometimes it is still and you cannot feel it at all, and other times it is so strong you can barely stand, but it is the one that is moving and changing around you while you stand still. It is never gone completely, but it’s also never going to always be there in a debilitating way. It moves through us in a perceptible way until it doesn’t.
So the goal is not to “overcome” it. In my experience, these are the four steps that will help you heal and thrive after surviving abuse and/or trauma:
- Accept that it happened.
- Eliminate self-blame.
- Show empathy toward all your feelings.
- Remember you are valuable.
To be more specific, 1. Accept that what happened DID in fact happen. Blocking it out or bottling it up won’t make it go away, it only prolongs the healing process. 2. Recognize that you are not to blame. Nothing that happened to you was a result of your own actions and nothing about who you are as a person means you deserved it. 3. Show yourself empathy for any lingering feelings about what happened. All your feelings that are a result of your trauma are valid, whether that’s anger or fear or sadness or relief or a lack of feeling anything at all. and 4. Remember that it doesn’t effect your value or self worth as a person. You are NOT dirty or damaged or less deserving of respect because of what happened to you. You are still strong and loveable and deserving of respect and kindness.
Working on those four steps will the easier it is to move through life without dragging the weight of your abuse behind you wherever you go. You may not be able to “overcome” past trauma, but you CAN survive it and live a happy, fruitful life despite it.